Fighting
by LauraPetry
Summary: Songfic. Alex and Bobby are both suffering and what they need most is each other. Rated T for the use of language in the song, which is by Rilo Kiley.


**A/N & Disclaimer: The characters are Dick Wolf's. The song is Rilo Kiley's. The story is set sometime after Brother's keeper. SPOILERS for Blind Spot, and pretty much season 6…**

**R&R!!!!**

Fighting

_Sometimes in the morning I am petrified and can't move  
Awake but cannot open my eyes  
And the weight is crushing down on my lungs  
I know I can't breathe_

_And hope someone will save me this time_

Alexandra Eames woke up with a start. The sunlight poked through her blinds, telling her that it was time to rise and shine. But that wasn't what woke her up. She had had another damn nightmare. It was so real this time. The smell of the blood in the cellar, the heat as she hung there like a side of beef, the feeling of the cold sheers against her face. She took three deep breaths like her therapist told her to and slowly climbed out of bed.

_And your mother's still calling you insane and high  
Swearing it's different this time  
And you tell her to give in to the demons that possess her  
And that god never blessed her insides  
Then you hang up the phone and feel badly for upsetting things  
And crawl back into bed to dream of a time  
When your heart was open wide and you love things just because  
Like the sick and dying_

The shrill ringing of his cell phone roused Robert Goren from his sleep for the third time that week. It wasn't the first time he had considered not answering it. But in the end he still did, like always.

"Bobby, it's bad this time. They're telling me that they're gunna take me for good…" Frances Goren's weak voice groaned through the phone. Bobby could tell that she was either just sedated, or coming down from them.

"Mom, they are not going to get you."

"How do you know? You're not in my head!"

"I just know mom, now go back to bed."

"You don't care! Your brother does…He wouldn't let them get me…"

Bobby sighed and rubbed his eyes tiredly, "He probably wouldn't mom, you're right about that." There was silence on the other end for a few seconds before Frances spoke again.

"They're coming Bobby! They want me! Aren't you gunna do something? Don't you care about me? Or do you want them to get me?"

"You know what mom? Maybe that would be better off." He growled before hanging up in frustration.

He stared at the phone for a few seconds, before deciding that calling her back at the time would probably be bad for both of them.

_And sometimes when you're on  
You're really fucking on  
And your friends they sing along  
And they love you_

_But the lows are so extreme  
That the good seems fucking cheap  
And it teases you for weeks in its absence  
But you'll fight and you'll make it through  
You'll fake it if you have to _

"Hey Alex!" Olivia Benson exclaimed when she saw the smaller detective at Starbucks. "How've you been?"

"Good." Alex said quietly as she took her and Bobby's coffee from the man at the counter. "Just busy. Very Busy." Olivia nodded in agreement.

"You've got that right. I feel like we're juggling 20 cases a week." She chuckled. When she saw Alex not responding she grew serious. "Are you recovering alright Al?" She said quietly. Alex nodded quickly.

"I'm fine Liv!" She snapped, but quickly regretted it when she saw the taller woman flinch, "I'm sorry…I just…It's been rough. But, I'll be okay."

"I know you will you're tough." Benson assured her touching her arm. "But if you ever need to talk, you've got my number." Alex nodded and walked outside into the frigid winter air.

_And you'll show up for work with a smile  
And you'll be better  
You'll be smarter_

Bobby looked up from his notebook when he sensed her presence. The sight of her approaching their desks was more comforting to him then she'll ever know.

"Hey Bobby." She said with a small smile as she handed him his coffee. He nodded his thanks and returned her smile. "How was your weekend?" She continued her salutations as she booted up her computer.

"It was alright. Pretty uneventful, yours?"

"Same."

The rest of the morning was quiet as they filled out reports for the cases from the previous week. Alex barely acknowledged Bobby's phone when it rang, but her attention was grabbed when she heard her partner's shallow breaths.

She looked up to see his face pinched with pain. She got up and quickly made her way to his desk.

"H-how…d-did sh-she…?" He choked out his words. The response was obviously no comfort to him, it only caused him to drop the phone and bury his face in his hands.

Alex touched his shoulder and hung up the phone for him, not wanting to invade his privacy and talk to whoever was on the other line.

"Bobby?" She whispered leaning down close to his ear. His whole body convulsed as sobs began to overtake him. Eames sighed and looked up to see Ross approaching their desks. She pleaded with him silently through her eyes. After a second's hesitation, the captain nodded and motioned for them to go.

"C'mon sweetie." She soothed pulling him out of his seat gently. "Let's go."

_More grown up and a better daughter or son  
And a real good friend_

Once they were inside the closed elevator she embraced him fully and told him to let it out. And he did. His sobs were large, and they shook her and him as they swayed back and forth. When they came to a stop, they stood there for a few seconds, before she pulled him out of the cart and into the garage.

IIIIIIIIIIII

She let him be the entire ride to his home. She wasn't going to push him this time, even though she had a terrible feeling as to what had her partner so upset.

Once at his town home, she gently led him inside and sat him on the couch. She was about to go get him some water when he grabbed her around the waist and pulled her roughly into his lap. He held her there and sobbed into her neck. Alex leaned over and kissed his temple.

"Shh…It's okay Bobby. I'm here…"

This only made his cries worse. "My mom…" He whimpered, "Sh-She's g-g-gone-" Alex closed her eyes and sighed.

"Oh sweetie, I am so sorry." She soothed, not knowing what else to say. Goren choked on a lump in his throat and shook his head.

"I was so terrible to her. I s-said the worst th-things…"

Alex shushed him, "Robert Goren do not blame yourself!" She growled leaning back and looking him in the eyes. "She wouldn't want that!"

_And you'll be awake  
You'll be alert  
You'll be positive though it hurts_

"Sh-She ki-killed herself…be-because of me…" He said hoarsely as he tightened his embrace around her waist even more.

"How do you know that?" Eames demanded. Goren took a breath and closed his eyes in shame.

"I told her she'd be better off if THEY took her…" He buried his face back into her shoulder and shuttered. "I don't know why I said it Eames…I w-was just so t-tired."

"Bobby, no one blames you for feeling overwhelmed." Alex said, her breath was warm on his ear, "Especially not her. She might not have showed it, but deep down you know she was grateful for what you did for her all those years."

Bobby snorted and shook his head again. "She resented me. I was always a disappointment to her."

"No you haven't, you have always been a wonderful son to her." Eames grabbed his face in her hands and pulled him up to look at her. "You loved her no matter what, you paid for her hospital bills for years, you for drove hours every weekend to go see her, you talked her through her episodes, and you have held her hand through all her therapy sessions. You were a saint!"

Bobby was quiet for a moment before nodding slowly. "I j-just should've been more patient last night." He whispered, "The last thing she needed was someone yelling at her."

"Well, you were allowed one blowup." Alex said with a reassuring smile, "Who's to say that that was what pushed her over the edge."

Goren smiled back sadly, "A-At least she's not suffering anymore." He whimpered optimistically. Alex nodded and brushed the tears off his face.

"She's probably in heaven right now…cringing at this mess that you call an apartment." She chuckled looking at the mass of papers, books, and clothes that surrounded them on the couch and floor.

Bobby stared at her in awe for a moment, before beginning to snicker himself. This soon turned into a hearty laughter that warmed Alex's heart.

_And you'll laugh and embrace all of your friends  
And you'll be a real good listener_

After getting Bobby to drink two glasses of water and an aspirin, Alex gently tucked him into his bed. "I'll be in the living room if you need me." She whispered kissing his forehead.

But when she went to walk away, his sad voice stopped her, "Please don't go." He whispered reaching his arm out to her. "I don't want to be alone."

Alex's heart broke as she quickly made her way over to the bed and curled up beside him. Bobby wrapped himself around her like a cocoon, and buried his face in the back of her neck.

When Eames heard his breath evening out, she leaned down and kissed his hand. "You will never be alone Bobby. I promise you that."

_You'll be honest  
You'll be brave  
You'll be handsome and you'll be beautiful  
You'll be happy_

A soft rustling in his arms, woke Bobby from his peaceful slumber. He was about ready to pass it off as nothing, when he heard a soft whimper. He sat up on his elbow and looked around the room in a daze, before he heard a small cry from the tiny woman beside him.

"Alex?" Bobby queried taking her damp face in his hands. She was sweaty and hot, and her eyes were clamped tight. "Alex wake up!" She shrieked and tried to pull away from him.

"No! No…leave me alone!" She cried pushing him away weakly. Bobby sat up and pulled her into the sitting position.

"Alex, honey…wake up for me! You're okay." He whispered over and over again. Finally she opened her eyes and blinked up at him in terror.

"Bobby? Are you okay…?" She whimpered looking around in confusion. Bobby gawked at her and pushed her hair out of her face.

"I'm fine Alex…are YOU okay?" He took his hands off her arms and reached them around her back. Alex continued to scan the room timidly before giving him a shaky nod.

"I-I'm sorry." She said resting her head forward, onto his chest. Bobby leaned down and kissed her crown.

"Don't apologize." He leaned back onto the bed with her on top of him. After getting them situated under the covers, he began to stroke her hair comfortingly, "I didn't know you still had nightmares." He said with a mixture of guilt and concern in his voice.

Alex shrugged and nibbled on her nails, "Only every other night." She sighed. "My therapist told me that they'll go away eventually." She looked up at him and smiled.

"They're not so terrible when I have someone to wake up to." She yawned closing her eyes again. Bobby smiled, and leaned down to kiss her lips softly.

"Then I'll be waking you up every night." He vowed drifting off into a peaceful slumber with the love of his life.

_Your ship may be coming in  
You're weak but not giving in  
And you'll fight it you'll go out fighting all of them _

**A/N: So I don't know if I'll keep this a oneshot, or make it into an ongoing project…what do ya'll think?**


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